My Heavenly Father loves ME :)

Have you ever just had one of those days when you feel like your life is falling through the floor? Today was it.......

I felt like a nobody,
someone who has been completely forgotten,
The left over,
The stupid girl who was in love with someone, to find out he loved another,
I felt invisible.

And as those feelings bubbled up the tears began. All my troubles seemed to make life unbearable. It was then I realized I was being silly. I have many people who love and care for me. I wasn't in a concentration camp waiting to be killed or when I was going to recieve my next meal, I didn't have to walk across the plains with no shoes. I had a warm bed, food in my cupboard, and a roof over my head. I might not have it all, but I knew I was loved, and with that I said a quiet simple prayer, and all those feelings of hurt were quickly gone. The insecurity ceased and all my fears and worries vanished.

And it was then that I realized how much my Heavenly Father knows and loves me.
I am so grateful for the trials I have and the support that helps me get throught them. I have ALOT to be grateful for and I sometimes have to remind myself that even though I am not perfect, I am loved.

So this song I HAD to share :)
"Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by,
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.
He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him reverently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part.
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me."


“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  -Dr. Seuss

Abide with me; 'Tis Eventide.

WELL.... It has been quite awhile since my last post.. I promise to write more often!

Alot has happened, fall is fading quickly here in Eprhaim, and life is moving so fast. I cannot believe that the semester is almost through.
This month has been quite a struggle, emotionally.
My family recently went through a death of a well loved family member. My aunt Solvieg, she was taken on November 1st in the early morning by breast cancer. In this kind of situation it was a blessing to know she is finally pain free. I loved her very much and am so grateful for the knowledge and peace the Gospel brings. A hymn that has especially brought me a lot of comfort during this time is, "Abide with me; 'Tis Eventide."  The first verse always hits the spot :)

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.The day is past and gone;The shadows of the evening fall;The night is coming on.Within my heart a welcome guest,Within my home abide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide.

Things don't always go as planned

OK. We all know things never go as planned. Right? Well somehow I always forget this....  I seem to always plan ahead with everything. (Well I try) And alot of the time this gets me into trouble. (Don't get me wrong its great to have a plan... but come prepared with 3 backup plans as well. haha)

Well going off this... I didn't plan to speed and get a fairly large ticket. DID NOT plan that.  I didn't plan to pour boiling water on my self. I also did not plan to have to pay SO MUCH for college and everything that comes with. I did not plan on losing 20 dollars worth of quarters for laundry ( TOTALLY NOT PLANNED) ...... Things JUST happen. And sometimes we can fix them and sometimes we simply can't. We have to find things that work and don't and just be ok with what life hands us.

This weekend has truly helped me "Coop" with life's.....lets say "Handling's" haha

For labor day weekend I went with my lovely family to Yuba lake. Beautiful place. (except for the nasty algae floating around) But the weather was great and the people I was with made everything perfect. On Sunday afternoon we all went for a boat ride. AH I absolutely LOOOOVVVVVEEE being on the LAKE. :) Here is what I was thinking.....

The hot summer day is brilliant. I feel healthy, alive and safe. All those I love are around me enjoying my happiness (Well except for my brother JOSH :( he is serving a mission! ) The sun is very hot. But as we start moving the feeling of instant relief washes over me and I can truly relax. As we continue I watch the clouds pass and I start to dream of longer summer days. All I can hear is the humming of the engine and the whooshing of the wind in my ears. "Things are ok" I tell myself. And they really are. There is no worry in my mind... Things are ok.

Boating is my kind of therapy. Something I look forward to every summer. And every time I forget my serious heart aches and breaks, my world seems to stop and I am able to feel and notice all the wonderful things I forget in my everyday busy busy life. So as my trip ended I was left with feelings of gratitude and peace. And I really needed that to be able to continue on this journey through college and through life. :)

Here is some pictures from the trip :)

Miss'n my family.

So I get home from a long day at school and I turn on my computer and my music pops up and I just push play without even looking at the song. And "Aloha 'Oe" comes on. And instantly I get extremely home sick. For those who do not what this song is; It is a Hawaiian song, and the song is mainly about goodbyes and love. And this song makes me think of my (some-what) Hawaiian family. So basically I am REALLY homesick. I've been away at college just for a short time, but isn't strange how you really don't notice the the things that matter to you; until they are gone. :(  But I the most wonderful thing that I can hold on to is, my family is forever, this is something that is so dear to my heart. I know that no matter what happens I will always have them :) I Love you; Dad, Mom, Josh, Jordan, Nicky, Jacob and little bradley  : )

 I miss you guys!!!

You make my dreams :)

OK... there is a song by Daryl Hall and John Oates that makes me lose control. It's called "You make my dreams." This song is so fun and cheesy it sets my soul on fire!!! Every time it comes on I drop and stop whatever I am doing..turn it up FULL blast.. and start my embarrassing dancing and sing at the top of my lungs. And once its finished I push replay over and over until someone get after me for listening to it too long! hahahahaha I am a mega nerd. But who cares? That song is CLASSIC.  (I WILL have it at my wedding.. so beware future husband it WILL happen!) So if you ever want to know what will put me in a great mood instantly play this song for me. hahaha

Heres the link.. Listen to the magic :)

http://pl.st/s/219797009

Staying positive is a battle!

Today as I got out of math class I realized I had an hour of waiting time. SO trying to be a productive good little college student I went to find an empty desk and do my assignments. And as I started trying to work, I got to thinking about things, life and just everything in general... And It got me thinking of all the things I had to worry about and and those worries kept adding and adding. Until I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I was very discouraged and I was soon looking for the nearest exit. (so I wouldn't be embarrassed by my random crying fit.) And all of a sudden a thought popped into my mind. "Your attitude can take you forward or your attitude can take you down. The choice is always yours." This is something my mother always drilled into me. Isn't that so weird how one negative thought can lead into a TON of negative thoughts. So then I decided I was going to think of the good things. And channel some of these hurtful feelings into good ones. I started thinking of my favorite things; things that make me so happy, but yet are so simple. SO here is my list of things that make me happy and things that I LOVE:

I LOVE the feeling of being on the water. Especially being on the boat. I really feel so happy when I am going 40+mph on the boat/Jet skies. I feel worry free. Like nothing can stop me. I love the feel of the wind and the water that splashes on my face. It is so thrilling and exciting! My dad is the bomb-diggity for having these fun machines:)

I LOVE the way my mother texts me little messages on random days and almost every time its perfect timing. I think she has a 7th sense for when I am discouraged. (My mother has SKILL) and she always knows what to say and when to say it. I love her:)

I LOVE how books suck me into far away worlds and times.  I get SO jittery when the characters fall in love and go on grand adventures together making there love stronger. I find it fascinating that someone could write books. ('cause I totally do not have the Patience to!) Books are a great get away for me!

I LOVE the smell of rain. Not only do I love the smell, but I absolutely love watching it.

I LOVE watching a heart-felt movie. The ones that make you cry like a sad kitten and leave you feeling like you want to change the world after. "The Help" was the most recent that made me feel that way.

I LOVE when I find a dollar bill in my pocket! (especiallly now that I am a college student..every dollar counts!) It makes me feel like I've struck GOLD!!! haha.

I LOVE the way a lit candle looks in the dark. I get so memorized by the dancing of the flame. (I seriously am so weird, but that's the only reason I buy candles....to light them in the dark and watch the flame. hahaha)

I LOVE listening to good music. Especially soft piano music. ahhhhh it always can warm my spirit and make me so happy!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE when someone "follows" my photography blog. OR "likes" my photography facebook page. People don't realized how much it means to me. Especially 'cause I am just starting my business and every little thing helps! SO thank you "followers" you make me extremely happy!!!

I LOVE spending time with my family members. I am a very one on one type of person. So I love getting to spend time with each member and I learn something new about them every time.

I LOVE drinking cold water. Yes, this is kinda a weird thing to love, but it floats MY boat :)

I LOVE how my dad quotes "Nacho Libre" and "Napoleon Dynamite". It is seriously HILARIOUS. My dad is one cool dude if he can quote those movies! :) "They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!" -Nacho

This list could seriously go on and on and on. BUT what I am trying to say is... being positive is wonderful. It is quite hard to do all the time, and I am far from perfect on the matter, but try to stay happy. Decide what you are going to be... So choose to be happy!

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You
either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a
headache.”
—Marjorie Pay Hinckley